And the ladies lunched

Drat, I can't find the Cristina Pantoja Hidalgo essay I had been meaning to base this post on. I skimmed through her Coming Home, which was where I remember having read the phrase "they call it pampahaba ng buhay", or something to that effect (I am not altogether sure if that was the exact line). I think I remember her referring, too, to Gilda Cordero Fernando's book Ladies' Lunch and Other Ways to Wholeness. Age can blur so many things.

Tsk.

This pampahaba ng buhay she alluded to was that important ice-breaker in every woman's--or man's, for that matter--daily humdrum of routines: the lunch date, or shopping appointment, or cozy dinner with the best friend or college barkada, or the social afternoon call (merienda) to someone from the exclusive ladies' (or guys') clique. It is that most needed conversation, that good laugh over coffee, that outpouring of secrets and dreams and woes to a friend, or two friends, or even three. You figure how it becomes a "pampahaba ng buhay." Because it is.

I had one such tryst earlier today with my dear, dear friend Sheila, who is one of the rare few who have really taken the time and effort to break down my carefully built brick walls, said "hello, how are you?" so many times, said number of times eventually softening my hardened heart and allowing her entry so that now, she is an indispensable persona who adds so much value to my life. We had lunch of pasta and chicken (for her) and salad (for me, yes, I am on a diet again) and iced tea and exchanged hosts of stories and gossip and thoughts, as if we hadn't yet had enough of it in the office, mainly, I guess, because a lunch out is an entirely different thing. We didn't seem to run out of fodder for conversation. We never do, anyway.

So, yeah, you should definitely catch up with that old friend, or that trusted peer. Grab that chance to bring back that joie de vivre, that chance to be just a girl, just a guy, worry-free and young (no matter what age one may be) because meet-ups and talks like these do much to ward the stress away. It keeps one healthy, ready to go back to life's same old palette of grays and browns.

Because in those two short hours, or three, even, there will be good vibes all around. And an exchange of dreams and hopes, too, definitely. And laughter, loads of it. Sadnesses, too, perhaps, yes, but always, always, that sense of knowing that there is someone (aside from that significant other, maybe) watching out for us, or simply someone who will listen and share her views to help one turn a problem around, or to be the stronghold for when one finally gets the courage to confront that difficult issue.

Or just smile back, when silence is all there is, and silence is all that's needed.

My Sheila

I talked to my dear friend, Sheila, yesterday and after two weeks of not seeing each other, the conversation was a welcome respite from the monotony of work, work, work and the daily grind of keeping up with the colorless, unilateral world the industry we work in so easily becomes.

Catching up with her made me realize how important it is to have someone you can talk to and not worry about:


a) not being understood;
b) being over-read;
or
c)being stared at in the face and thought of as some loony person blabbering away into blabberland.

Sheila and I, we get each other. We would often:

a)catch each other's eyes and burst out laughing;
b)be in a conversation with other people, exchange glances and know what the other is thinking;
c)tell each other things we don't normally tell the greater majority of our friends, or colleagues;
and
d)keep secrets for each other, cherishing the fact that we each have someone we can release our bottled up trivia and non-trivia to.

We've agreed, a long while back, that we belong on the same wavelength. Our minds are in tune with each other. I can share my silliest thoughts with her and know that I will not be scolded, or thought of as shallow. With her, I know that I can pour the saddest and darkest contents of my heart and know that I will not be turned away or judged. And I know that she knows that she can run to me, anytime.

Thank the fairies for friends.
Such treasures they are.