This morning's Facebook status:

Conversations with my daughter are almost always sprinkled with her exclaiming (with those animated, beautiful eyes of hers), "Mommy I took so much after you!" And this is from all sorts of things, from outlook in life, to fashion sense, to socio-political view, to artistic elitism, to shoe choice, etc. My dear Jackie, Mommy's wish for you, among so many others, is that you would not have the sadnesses she's had, and that you would not make the wrong choices she's made. (teary-eyed, sniff sniff)

Nakakaloka

Yesterday, over snacks of cookies and chocolate cake:

JACKIE: Mommy, which would you rather choose, the heart or the soul?
ME: (silence)
KIM: I'd rather choose the soul 'cos the heart can be really stupid.
ME: (silence)


Hay.

I don't think any other kind of worry can equal that of a mother's for her sick child.

Thank you, God, for making Kim well.

Kim

This afternoon, I lifted my 7-year-old so he could sit on the grocery cart. Boy, was he heavy! I had to do a take 2. We were both laughing during and after the exercise and as I gave him a kiss on the nose, I asked him, "when did you get so heavy, little boy?"

Does every blowing breeze take something away with it that it's gone before we even had the chance to know that a breeze had blown by? When we blink, does something get lost in the split second so that the something "disappears before our very eyes"? Are we such incognizant beings that moments get stolen from us under our very noses?

Questions.

I had to lift him out of the cart when it was time to pay at the cashier. For the briefest of moments, I held him close and took a whiff of his baby powder-scented cheek and whispered a silent prayer, "don't grow up so fast. Be mommy's baby for as long as you can."

And then he hugged me and tried to lift me. When I laughed, he said, "Mommy, when I'm older, I will lift you. Promise."

The Kim and I

Me: Do you know what tomorrow is?
Kim: Saturday.
Me: What else?
Kim: Last-day-of-exams day.
Me: What else?
Kim: Go-to-mall day.
Me: What else?
Kim: Birthday-Mommy day!

:)

Happy Birthday, Jacqueline Louise!

Today being her birthday, Jackie took my hand and led me to the mall's toy section so she could choose which doll to buy.

Which to choose?

It proved to be a difficult task.

But she soon (or not so soon) found one, and was happy. She and I then went to the shoes section to shop for sandals. She said she wanted ones with heels. I obliged, bought her a pink pair and, eating the words I wrote on a previous blog entry, bought my daughter gold gladiator sandals.

All the while, Kim was having the time of his life tackling Countersrike at Netopia. Hence, the huge grin.

It's been a wonderful day.
Though I still can't believe my daughter is now nine years old.

Monday bonding

Right now, Jackie, Kim and I are inside Netopia, sitting in a row, side by side. We are all facing the PC and we are all logged in. Jackie is playing Skyline Dress-Up (the little lady is showing some penchant for style this early!), Kim is tackling Brothers in Arms and I, of course, am blogging.

An hour ago, we were having lunch; 3 hours earlier, we were shopping (Friday night, I was at the Greenhills night market, shopping for Kim, so it was mostly stuff for Jackie that I bought earlier). Two hours before that, I was rushing to get out of the office, politely brushing off any more invitations for post-shift chit-chat, fighting off sleep because I had promised the kids I'd be taking them to the mall today, it being a holiday and school being out.

And so, here we are.

There's nothing like the company of one's babies to soothe away the exhaustion on one's mind and limbs.

Have a great week, ya'll.
;p

Jackie and Math

This is Jackie, hard at work on her Math assignment.

Happy birthday, my darling Kim!

Mother to Son

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor—
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So, boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps.
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now—
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

-Langston Hughes-

To do: Work and good days

This has been a very productive day.

My typical work week is busy and hectic, where "busy" and "hectic" do not necessarily connote "useful." Rushing off to impromptu meetings (which could take up to two, even three hours to wrap up), or breaking my back to finish ad hocs on time are not my idea of a fruitful day. Call it multitasking, or a test of time management skills, if you must, but truth is, they interrupt my momentum and drain me to a point where all I want to do is slouch on my chair and close my eyes. And drift into slumber, or catatonia, or something.

Thank goodness there's coffee. Oh, what would I do without coffee?

Anyway.

In an ideal world, it's the well-planned, carefully executed tasks that prove most satisfying to work on.

Now, this is something that seldom comes my way, as it is very easy to get distracted and stray from one's checklist or calendar, but what do you know, I had just such the thing today. I won't go into the details--jargon will most inevitably come up and, what more, a description of my job will most definitely not appeal to most people. Suffice it to say that owing to the fact that I was able to work according to plan (and with much focus and determination), I finished on time, and am proud to say that I am, at present, on track with my deliverables.

To top it all, at the grocery store later during the day, my son turned to me and said, from out of the blue,"Mommy, you're the best mommy in the whole world."

Don't you just love good days?

Happy weekend!

Me: (speechless)

Conversation #1:

Jackie: (voice quivering) Why is everyone forcing me to study?

Me: Baby, you need to study because it's exam week. Do you want to get low scores in your exams?

Jackie: I hate, hate school. All my classmates do. Mommy, who invented school ba?

Me: (speechless)

Jackie: I wish nobody invented school. It's so boring. No kid likes school, you know.

Me: Listen, baby. You need to go to school so you'll learn. If you don't go to school, you won't be able to find a job when you grow up. Sige ka.

Jackie: Oh, that's okay. Then I'll have lots of time to read.

Me: (speechless)

Conversation #2:

Me: What subjects for tomorrow?

Jackie: (sighing) Sibika and, ugh, Math! I hate those two subjects! Who invented Math, Mommy?

Me: I don't know, Baby. The Chinese, I think? But I'm not really sure. Go and practice your subtraction.

Jackie: It's so hard, all those carry-carry and borrow-borrow. I think I like addition more than subtraction.

Me: (sighing) Me, too. But go ahead, study your Math, baby. You have to study. Oh, and yeah, there's one more thing I need to tell you about studying. If you don't study, you'll get really low scores and really low grades. And then you'll be stuck in grade 3. Next year, all your other classmates will be in grade 4 and you'll still be in grade 3. Do you want that?

Jackie: (eyes widening) Oh! Oh! Ok. I better study, then.

Me: (relieved) Good girl! Go ahead, now.

Jackie: (after some moments of deep thought) But, Mommy, how come I won 2nd place in the spelling bee even if I didn't study?

Me: (speechless)

c")

And Jackie is beginning to show signs that she will take after me. In this particular hunt for school shoes, she asked me to buy her pambahay slippers because the ones she had weren't pink and she had to have pink ones. It took her half an hour to decide which pair to buy!

Jackie knows Laura I. Wilder's family tree. She's read LITTLE WOMEN and is currently devouring L. M. Montgomery's ANNE series. She is 8 years old.

Kim is a pro at Gameboy, Play Station and Xbox games. He makes a hundred faces in one day. He is 6 years old.