People are breaking, breaking, breaking... Dear God, please help them get through whatever it is they need to get through.
Meanwhile, I stand silently by, a mere observer, calm and steady; a witness following scenes with eyes that see too much from looking, and a heart saddened by the confusion, the griefs that friends try hard to keep between folded hands, yet which push themselves out, even so.
And in the middle of this seemingly aimless, static wait, I remember thinking how I was once where they are now, how I was them, once. And I remember how it felt, only, now, because I have learned how it is to keep oneself detached, the pain feels very faint, like a sigh on one's palm, a murmur in one's mind.
Remembering--and always remembering, because forgetting will not be possible--how it was and how it is, I find myself inching forward and reaching out a hand. I cannot, cannot keep looking and remain a bystander.
Because turning my back on them would be like keeping the door shut on my knocking, pleading self.
Friday, May 15, 2009
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2 comments:
I love your metaphors Chan!
Is this blog for me???hahaha!
My thoughts? Uhm, I maybe a sucker for love, though I know sometimes I don’t look like it because I act like a tough badass who seem to beat the shit out of your Navy Seal brother with a pair of glow sticks.
… but I’m actually quite “the stupid one” when it comes to talking about matters of the heart.
We didn’t break up but I have a little thought about breaking up…
I guess one way to start feeling better is realizing that he was not a good catch after all. But actually, it’s more like convincing.
Resist! Resist! Resist! That’s my new mantra; must stick to it. If this goes on, I think there's a huge possibility that I’m going to live life emotionally frigid.
But…I’ve been praying…a LOT lately! I’m always in close contact with Him. I know I’ll be guided. Ü
I have full confidence in you, my dear girl! Someone as talented and multi-faceted as you is bound to be tough. You'll breeze through it, sweetie, just hang in there.
=)
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