"In the heart
of the wood,
a god learns too late:
love transforms
never quite in one way."
- J. Neil C. Garcia, "Daphne and Apollo"
God of the sun, he
sees but half his light.
Half-blind from the glare of his own
sadness, he sees
only the certainty of her
shape--roots clawed in fear,
the absence of body
in the whorls of her length, stillness
amidst her shaking leaves:
formlessness in form,
trance in transformation.
Even as she sighs, it is
only the wind he hears, and not her
voice, whispering:
I love you enough to love
you my entire life;
I love you enough to love
you only as I am, silent and without
reproach;
I love you enough to know
that I can defy the desire
to possess;
I love you enough to give up
movement and sight.
Consumed by his loss,
he turns his back
and walks away, head bowed,
transfixed by the wreath
of her leaves.
1 comment:
Hi Love,
Just want to let you know that I am ok and I am doing well. I hope that you are ok and had a good rest. I was reading what you just wrote and am doing my best to interpret it to the best of my abilities.
This week was a huge roller coaster ride for us; I was in my happiest and saddest state. Owing to the complicated situation we are in, sometimes feelings, emotions, and expressions are often misunderstood. Stupid questions are asked, time wasted, inconsistent decisions are made maybe due to fact that I don’t really know how to properly act and conduct myself.
You mentioned that I am blinded by my own sadness; I say you are correct and not proud to admit it. I tend to let stress, pressure and stupidity get the better of me. I can’t deny the fact that I have been immature in dealing with the situation I faced a couple of days ago.
You are also correct when you said that I only here the wind and not your voice saying how you love me – but don’t worry Love, despite me not hearing you voice – I know and can still feel your love.
I want you to know my feelings towards you remain unchanged. I am still in love with the lady I met and interviewed last July 31, 2014. I am still in love with the person I spent the most wonderful night of my life just watching the stars. I am deeply in love with the person who inspires me to be my best day in and day out. I am and will ever be in love with you Love. You have brought the smile, light and life back when I thought I can never find them anymore. I have never been more alive now that I am with you. These may be just words but Love but these are the same words that keep the hope in me that someday mornings, afternoons and nights will be as beautiful as how we wanted it to be.
I am not ashamed to admit I am afraid. I am afraid that at any given point, all of these may end. I am afraid that I may not be able to bring things the way they were. I am afraid that you may have a change of heart, I am afraid that time may come when love isn’t enough anymore. But I am strong my Love, and I will prove it to you. You have changed a lot in me that equipped me to face these fears head on. You have guided me to be better version of what I was. Come to think of it, I should not be afraid anymore.
We dream of living on our own parallel universe, dream that fate will bring us together someday, dream that we relive the day we found our fig tree at any given time, dream of how mornings, afternoons and night will be. Dream of growing old together (I’m not going to die young anymore). People may judge this as just dreams, but I could care less on what anyone would say. I was apparently the man in your dreams….but You are my dream
I tried to be as poetic as I can Love because I am not good at this. I hope I did justice to what you wrote.
Do not worry Love, Apollo can now see clearly – no longer blinded because he is no longer in despair.
I still hope we can draw out own constellation my Love. The sky will be better with it.
Hope our love is still built to last
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