Anything goes

My daughter's been complaining of "writer's block" for weeks now.

I just realized: we are on the same page.
Paging my muse. Paramdam ka naman, o.

And, oh, before I forget, a couple of days ago, Tori Amos appeared in my dreams, as a lovely, red-haired fairy handing me the most outrageous freebies ever:  a YSL bag and spanking new Prada boots. Hahaha. What am I supposed to make of that?

Under the Influence of

Yes, the allergies seem duller, but so do my thoughts. Is it "are" or "do"? It's a bit hazy, too, like, where have the days gone? Or, what day is it today? Or, how many days has it been since Sunday? I could try to count, why not? But it seems an exhausting task. Parallel lines never meet, or do they? In some secret alley (like yours and mine), unknown to the best minds, do these two constants ever meet? Are they constant (like me, unlike you)? Or did I just dream the word up (like I had dreamed you up)? Like I do a lot of words. They populate my dreams (like you do), words, although I hardly ever remember when I wake up. It's just a nice thought, I guess, having one's dreams peopled with words (my dreams, by you).

I hate prepositions. Though not so much, right now.

(Random) Thoughts (as usual):

1. Nowadays, the pattern of the bi-monthly paycheck saying "hello" and, after a wee bit of time, "goodbye" has become so noticeable that it's gotten to be a basic expectation. (sigh)
2. I started reading a book almost a month and a half ago and I still haven't found the time to finish it. grrr
3. Christmas weather is descending upon us. I only wish the days weren't as scorching as they still are now, as the night breeze is such a welcome cool.
4. I'm so itching to catch the latest Harry Potter movie but haven't found the time to do do.
5. This is the first time in years that so many people in the office are grumbling about their 13th-month pay (me included). I just hope all those taxes are going where they should be going.
6. I miss my mom's spaghetti.
7. A list doesn't always have to have ten items on it so I'm ending this at seven.

Imogen Heap turns 32 today.

But that is not the subject of this post; though this doesn't mean that the statement above isn't true.

Okay, okay, start over.

Imogen Heap turns 32 today.

Just a tiny thought

I can't believe it's raining and raining hard. It's been extremely dry, lately Thank goodness the December breeze is lending us its presence during certain parts of the day, somehow. If not, the heat would be unbearable.

My blah list for the week:

1. Strings and strings of girls (and the odd handfuls of boys, or "guys" if you must) are trooping to the movies for that "New Moon" thing. Ugh. I've long since given up trying to even get myself into any discussions--or debates, as they most often turn out to be when I dig in my heels and sharpen my claws to pounce on the just as stubborn opponent who is convinced that the Twilight "saga" (arrggh) is the end-all and be-all of literature and filmdom--about this fad. It's a waste of time, so let the girls scream and swoon and fight over who's hotter, the vampire, or the wolf... am I getting it right? Don't even remember those guys' names. I know the girl's name is Bella, though. Haha. I'm such a Twilight dork.

2. As for me, I am currently obsessed with Joel M. Toledo's The Long Lost Startle.

3. Well, Facebook's Cafe World would rival the attention I give the above-mentioned book, though. This game is so addictive, it's made me forget all the other FB apps I've been previously hooked on.

4. As if things couldn't get any shallower, I've also been indulging in back issues of Instyle.

This post is a whole lot of nonsense. Didn't even reach to 5.

Oh, and yeah, 5) watched "Paranormal Activity" last night. Spooked me out, it did. For once, I was thankful to be in the night shift. At least I didn't have to worry about sleeping--or not getting any sleep--in the dark.

Okay, now I remember: the vampire's Edward and Jacob's the other guy. Oh, wait, is it Jacob, or Jakob?

I still haven't finished the book. =(

It's been a circus, yep, that's how things have been. Call it a circus. I tend to repeat things when I'm floating. And sometimes I don't know what I'm saying. Well, most of the time, I do. You might say that. I might say that. I think I've learned to mull things over first before giving a thought free reign. You might say I've learned to hold my tongue. What a cliche. If I counted how many cliches there are in what I've typed so far, I'd probably be appalled.

But, whatever.

I'm a little tired, that's what I am. Probably more than a little tired, I'm not entirely sure. "Probably" is such a safe word. There's safety in the probable. There could be danger, too, though, come to think of it.

And now I'm telling myself don't look back. It's nothing melodramatic; I meant don't look back on what you've written, so far. Well, I probably should've typed don't look up the page, keep your eyes on the cursor. Was I supposed to use parentheses? I think, yeah. Or, probably, I could've clicked on the italics icon.

But I'm staying where I am. Or, rather, I'm keeping my eyes here.

Here.

Right here.

Feeling that blah feeling again. Not a good sign at all.

For M-- and M--:

When stuck in a car with two rock music aficionados conversing, what is one to do?

Listen.

And learn heaps!
=)

A "Whatever" Thought

Anne Boleyn was 5"2' and flat-chested. Bonnie Parker Of the famed Bonnie and Clyde duo was just 5" and loved wearing red.

Small--er, petite--women are really something else.

Hahaha. Still, we wear heels.
WT.

please someone put a title to this

Whatever rocks your boat, beautiful, do it before they tell you not to. Everybody says don't as the song goes but few people I know actually know that song and fewer still like that song, or could sing to that song. My mind feels light as air or something similar to air and I really should be fumbling for a pillow to lay my head on. I've been complaining about not having had enough sleep and now the words come out of my fingers as if they were gushing out and I am not aware what sentence I am in or if what I am writing is still a sentence and it should be good to let go at times but there is still that --that-- I can't find the darn word oh yeah, that neurotic compulsion--even when one is afloat--to look back and check if the sentence is still following its proper thread or if the punctuation is correct but at this point it'll be too far behind to look back and really see what one has gone through as there are things that we, even with the utmost earnestness at bringing back we can no longer bring back, or change, or wipe clean no matter how we try to wipe things clean they remain stained or tainted with something what that something is we could not put our finger on or even think of naming because our mouths have run out of names to give to the things we see and hear and touch and cannot we drift along like words falling from the mind to the page, in streams sometimes in drops when the mind draws blank after blank after blank.

Middle of things

All in all, a very busy, very fulfilling week.

The inter-process calibration I've planned out and organized from late last year and scheduled for yesterday finally pushed through (and with fantastic results--all in all, a success!); I received a zero-variance rating on my monitors (for week 1, at least); plus, I've been running more regularly since the beginning of this month (oh, yes, March is indeed my favorite month, heat and all!).

Apologies for whatever jargon-like terms I may have used. I'm just so full to the brim with satisfaction that I had to let it out, otherwise I'd spill over.

Then again, I'd better not let it go overboard. I know something not quite so good will be bound to come around the corner, anyhow. I mean, doesn't it always?

And, oh, yeah, I almost forgot to tell you about what happened last Monday.

But let me save that for another post.

Some random stuff I want to write down today:

1. That person you seem to hate so much without really knowing why? Chances are, there is a common trait (or two, or three) you and that person share.

2. There are good girls, but then, there are bad girls, too.

3. People come and people go.

4. Today is a gift, that's why it's called "present." --from "Kung-Fu Panda," so I've been told, though I think I remember someone having forwarded me this in a text message.

5. Kenny Rogers Roasters' chicken noodle soup is yummy!

6. The weekend will be upon us very soon--something to smile about, right there. =)

7. Coffee on the carpet, after a day or two of being there, will stink. eew

8. I have a thing for counting the steps when I climb a flight of stairs. And it is a must that I end with an odd number. Otherwise, I improvise. Or something.

9. If we look close enough, we'll find that there is always someone who will listen when we need to rant. If that person rants with us, then all the better!

10. We do our best to get by, day by day. And most of the time, we get by just fine.

Parched

I am going through a dry--no, make that very dry--blogging spell right now.

It's been eons since I last posted an entry here. It's not like I haven't tried, though. It frustrates me to look at all the unfinished drafts staring back at me from my posting box. They blink at me, waiting, waiting, waiting for me to, maybe, click on "edit" and finish them, give them the shape they think they should have.

But, for the life of me, I couldn't. It's probably the stale, dusty winds in the workplace that are sucking my creative juices dry, not that I had much, to begin with. Too much reality for li'l ol' me, I guess.

I am waiting for the rains, summoning them whenever I manage to muster the strength to do so, eventually giving up because I always fail.

So this is all I'm publishing for now, though I wish it were something else.

I really do.

(image from here)

Not much sense here

It's the end of my work-week. Finally, I can get some much-needed shut-eye. Been sleep-deprived again, but hey, what's new. Things are really fast-paced at work and I've been at my heels with so many to-dos. Plus the holidays seem to have put some kind of frenzied energy on everyone and over everything. The resulting excitement-loaded atmosphere can become pretty draining. It's not a bad thing, though. Yeah, I know, I'm not making much sense. And I don't think that's a bad thing, either.

Carpe diem, people!

Live, laugh, love.

My unkempt weekend

I am looking at a very cluttered work station; trying to figure out what to write about, how to write it, where to start, how long it will take me to write, and if I'd be able to write, at all.

I'm experiencing one of those "dry blogging spells" which intermittently come about--in my case, that is. Some bloggers have something to write about everyday. What more, they know exactly what form it would take. I am not one of those lucky people.

As further proof of my laziness, I am jotting down--in bullets--some stuff I did last weekend. Writing paragraphs can be so taxing!

I:

* cried over "Yentl." A friend finally found a copy for me, at last! I wanted to strangle Barbra Streisand for not staying and giving me the perfect ending. I mean, I'm an advocate of girl power and all, but, hey, give me my two hours worth of waiting for the girl and the guy to fall into each other's arms! Sort of how I felt after reading John Fowles' The French Lieutenant's Woman.
* watched "Love in the Time of Cholera" and put Javier Bardem from number 3 to number 2 in my top 5 favorite actors.
* watched "Sabrina" for the second time. To commit the sin of stating the obvious, Audrey Hepburn was heart-breakingly beautiful in the movie. And Humphrey Bogart was, well, old.
* helped Jackie with her Math assignment (whaddya know, I still know division!) and Kim with his subtraction. They had a week-long break from school and waited until Friday to do homework. Reminds me so much of myself, way, way back. Ah, to be a kid again. But minus the math homework, please.
* waited the entire weekend for the Internet to come back (turned out it was here, all along--story in previous post).
* went to Robinson's Place, bought a gift for my brother, rummaged through the bags on sale, tried on several pairs of shoes (without buying a single pair, I'm proud to say), and ordered a glass of Peach-Mango shake at Almon Marina. It's always Christmas in the malls, as if people had gifts to buy all the time, plus the money to buy those gifts with. Alas, not for me.

Happy holidays!

Tired, sleepy, etc.

Truth is, I've failed, miserably, in my resolve to go back to reading. I've several books which I've started flipping through but never really gotten to read.

tsk.

***

Greenbelt 5, yesterday. It was like being in a different country. Everything was luxurious and beautiful and, well, cold, and... sad.

***

Lunch at Chili's. Dress code: PINK.

Darn it, I forgot to take pictures of the food. I guess I got overwhelmed by the colors and smells of the food and the sheer size of their servings. Oh, but the Philly cheese steak sandwich was damn good!

There goes my diet. I can feel my arms ballooning again.
Oh, well.

***

I. am. so. sleepy.
This job is killing me. I've done nothing but work, work, work lately.
I really think I'm gonna grow old early.

***

I can hardly wait for Christmas.

***

G'night.
Zzzz...

cartoon from here.

My cluttered life

I have often been teased about my "powers of organization" (please, please make sure to note the sarcasm here).

I mean, I do try my hardest to give my life some semblance of neatness and, at times, I do succeed; its in the consistency part that I fail.

A lot of people boast of being "OC" when it comes to their stuff, and, on hindsight, the farthest I've come to describing myself as such is in telling people that I am really, really fussy when it comes to brushing my teeth. If I had the chance to brush my teeth every hour, I would (I know, bad, bad).

I think the term "OC" gets abused most of the time, though; perhaps we are not aware that this is actually a chronic anxiety disorder that is way worse than we think and is very much deserving of psychiatric treatment, up to and including psychosurgery? Read more here.

Moving on, I thought I'd let you take a peek into my slipshod life...

I am in dire need of baskets and organizers. These could pass for stuff in a yard sale (but even items in yard sales are arranged in baskets and boxes, right?).


These are the clothes that I need to put away (and neatly, too).

Even the books are in disarray!


At first glance, the closet looks kinda okay, but the hill of bags below is a completely different story.


My mom will kill me if she saw what state of chaos my stuff are in.
So, my goal is: by the end of this day, I should already have fixed this mess.
But that is something I really should have done days and days ago.

Sleepless

I have been awake for nineteen straight hours.

Whew.

Gotta hit the sack now, have to be up at 1 am.
That'll be, uh, roughly four hours of sleep.

Yup, this is my life.

By the way, there has been some unusual, startling movement in my blog tracker. It's gone berserk, all because of the post before this one.

G'night.

Zzzzz...

Right now, I am...

1. sleepy and know that I ought to sleep; instead I am blog-hopping and having a lot of fun reading about other people's lives.

2. wondering how other bloggers manage to find something to write about day after day. I, on the other hand, have these dry spells wherein I simply can't, for the life of me, type a single sentence, let alone one whole entry!

3. still thinking about my key take-away from the Emotional Intelligence training class I attended this morning: that I am, in no way, emotionally intelligent.

4. listening absently to Jay Leno's blabber--the TV's volume is too low for me to really make out what he's saying.

5. seeing blue spots on the screen--I must've stared too long at the blue wall.

6. reminding myself to remind Jackie and Kim to study for their upcoming exams. I know Jackie will complain that studying takes too much out of her "fun" time. She'd cooperate more if you ask her to study Anne of Green Gables, though. Sigh. You should see her stare, horrified, at a page of math problems. She is simply too much like me.

7. counting my blessings.

8. bracing myself for a storm which I know is coming very soon. Time to test my mettle, once more.

9. trying to make out what Jay Leno is saying. I wish I didn't feel too lazy to reach for the remote control and turn up the volume.

10. ending this entry.